FAMILY CONFLICTS

What Causes Family Conflict

Families are supposed to provide security, pleasure and rest for its members, but in many cases they turn out to be a source of unending nightmare for some people: parents and children. Also, families are established as a way of improving the life condition of the people involved; why do people often fall out of it as soon as they enter? These are a few reasons. Do away with them and marriage will be a thing you will always be glad to have done.

1. UNFORGIVNESS:

Unforgiveness is like a disease that eats into an individual and slowly moves to infect the entire body of a family. It is a situation whereby a partner continuously holds unto an offence committed against him/her and allowing this feeling to affect relationship within the family. Whenever a partner wrongs the other, it is important that the wronged partner speaks about it at that time and tries to disconnect it from other things the other partner may do. Forgiveness should not come only when the other partner asks for forgiveness. It is just important that we forgive people that wrong us even before they know about it. Even if the other partner does an offending thing deliberately, continuous forgiveness will eventually cause him/her to stop. When we do not forgive an offence, it is likely to trigger up a reaction that becomes uncontrollable and this is where family conflict comes in.

2. PRIDE: Pride is another terrible monster that can scare peace out of the family bliss. It is sad that a number of people do not even know that they are proud; they always think they only have better reasoning than their partners. It is advisable that if your partner tells you that you always like things done your way, then you have to check how you do things and probable just begin to let some things be even if you know that the end will not give the desired result. You must not always insist that things happen the way you want them to. If you do that, you are proud, and you will always prepare a ground for conflict.

3. UNFAITHFULNESS: This is a major challenge in family cordiality. It refers to a situation where one of the partners decides to have affairs outside his/her marriage description. The husband for example may keep other women as mistresses or concubines. This, of course, is an act that is usually not negotiated and is not accepted by the other partner. Conflict can result from this thereby causing the family to break apart.

4. GREED: It is not acceptable that a partner in marriage should decide to spend all or the larger part of what he/she has on himself or herself alone. A family that must stay together must learn to share things, ideas etc freely without any reservations. In many cases, this is seen where one of the partners turns out to be more financially buoyant than the other. In marriage, what belongs to one belongs to both because both are now one. If a partner is extravagant and the other is trying to avoid it, simple hear-to-heart talk will take of that.

5. LACK OF SPENDING TIME TOGETHER: It is important that families spend quality time together. It enables them to share feelings and enjoy the benefit of togetherness. That is the essences of marriage. You don’t get married and still live like a single person. No matter what job you do, you must create time to be together with your partner. Everyone wants company, and an intimate company that will allow sharing of personal secretes.

6. LEASURE MARRIAGE: What I call leisure marriage is what some do as contract marriage, but contract marriage may have some described reasons. In the case of leisure marriage, one of the partners must have entered into the commitment without understanding the basic reason(s) why he/she should do it. It is either from pressure from friends or family members or the person simply wants to do what others are doing without really taking time to observe that marriage is not a ticket to a totally itch-free life. So as soon as the individual is faced with a little challenge common to married people, he/she begins to loose interest in the marriage.

Marriage is supposed to be for good. One does not have to go into it and desires to get out again. It should not necessarily be a religious obligation to keep ones marriage safe. A broken marriage would always leave someone wounded. If you won’t be wounded, is it okay to see your partner wounded? That should never be a thing to experience in marriage. Keep your family with conscious love when the emotion love fails, and of course, it will always fail because it is like a piece of leaf being tossed about by wind.

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