Must Family Conflict Exist?
Conflicts will always find their way into our families uninvited. Resolving them may appear quite challenging, but it depends on how ready we are to face them out. The solutions are very handy and accessible. The problem is that most times we allow other stuffs, among which pride is boss, to incapacitate us.
1. Identify the main issues:
First of all you must know that there is problem in your family. It is not as easy as said because what is problem in one family may not be in a different family. For instance how to press the toothpaste has led to separation in a family, but the same is no issue at all in a lot of families. You discover explain your problem to someone else and he says it is not problem at all, whereas inside you is a tornado over the same issue. Therefore, it depends on you what becomes problem in your family. This problem does not have to be one that borders you alone. You must show concern to identify the worries of your partner.
2. Be sure you really want to resolve your family conflicts:
Sorry to say, it’s one thing to know the existing problems in your home, another thing to know that you don’t want them to exist, and another to know that you really want them resolved if they are found to exist. To resolve a troubling issue is not to start counting the faults of your partner – what they do and what they don’t do. When you do that, you are only cloning and multiply the same problems because emphasising them is as good as making fresh ones. To be really ready to solve a family problem is to agree to heap the blames on yourself. This is hard right? Yes, that is why I said should be sure you really want to resolve the issue. The truth us that conflicts usually don’t start, grow and flourish all in one person. There is always someone else who waters it – one who fans the ember. That person may be you. So, unless you accept the fault, you cannot know where to start looking for solution. If you can tell yourself ‘this is entirely my fault’ and really mean it, then your eyes will be open to how you can start solving the issues.
3. Trace its origin
Now that you have found the ground on which to start working out your problems, you may not locate the loose end. How did this whole thing start? Probably it started on the day he/she said something about your parents not doing certain things right, or when he/she yelled at you, or when he/she used up within two weeks money that should have been used for two months. Whatever it may be, get to find it. Remembering all of this may start your anger again, but tell yourself that you are here to erase the trouble not to retrace it. if you can subdue the ill filling that is coming up at this moment, you are more than half way through your problem solving, and you are heading towards an everlasting solution.
4. Believe that your personal effort is enough to make it work
You may not really have anybody to help you in this struggle, so should you just give up. Yes you partner may be making things even more difficult for you, but that is just the person you need to rehabilitate. Knowing it to be so, you have to tell yourself that it depends on you and you alone. You have to start working it out before any other person joins you latter. It is your earlier effort that is likely to attract other members of your family to start acting positive. Most times it is just about who will start, or who will take the lead, or who will be the “fool” that will eventually become the wise. The believe that your personal effort is enough, in its self, equips you courage and gives you a positive mind set about the problem you are faced with. Therefore, don’t always look for someone to blame. Take the responsibility.
5. Discuss with your partner
Communication is very essential in keeping a problem-free family. Without communication there cannot be understanding. You must try hard amidst all odds to discuss issues with your spouse as often as possible; in fact, habitually. Don’t stop trying even if the responses are always negative. It doesn’t make sense at once. It sinks gradually. Your partner may give you a terrifying response but inside the heart, some changes are going on. When the work of the words you have spoken are complete, you will be amazed at the result.
Don’t give room in your heart to consider any reasons that would make you think of quitting. Always give it a positive look. If it is not working now, it is simply because you have not pulled the right string, and it is somewhere there, you will find it. The options are not exhaustible. Keep trying. The result is worth it. In a moment all the pains will be forgetting, and you will be grateful you maintained a positive stand to the end.
- The Problem Solving Show | Photofocus Podcast January 11th, 2017 (photofocus.com)
- Starting School as a Single Parent (forwardthinking.ashford.edu)
- Christmas is Family (theotherjc.com)
- Roto-Rooter: Plumbing Problems solved (rotorooter.com)
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